Wednesday, January 26, 2011

If these are true stories....

From the mouth of babes.

LOT 'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and
turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy
looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she
turned into a telephone pole!'

_____
GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside,
all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'

_____
DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark ?'

'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.'

_____
HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power.
Can anybody tell me what it is?'

One child blurted out, 'Aces!'


_____
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the
most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a
month to learn the chapter.

Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the
Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to
the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I
need to know.'

_____
UNANSWERED PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and
bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked
him why.

'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his
messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'

'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.

_____
BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'So your mother says your
prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?'

The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'
_____
UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one
of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence
and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?'

Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!'

_____
TIME TO PRAY

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. 'Yes, sir.'
the boy replied.

'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked. 'No
sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'

_____
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every
family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For
several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say,
'And all girls.'

This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My
curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add
the part about all girls?'

Her response, 'Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All
Men'!'

_____
SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's
house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.

'I don't need to,' the boy replied. 'Of course, you do.' his mother
insisted. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.' 'That's at
our house.' Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how
to cook!'

Aren't kids great?

Be thankful,
Sarah

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